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Wednesday, 10 December 2014 08:03

The Stages of a PEN Addict

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In this age of corporate responsibility (and not getting sued) there is a strong case for a seven step program for the PEN Addict. No more should people have to suffer losing job after job (Mark) or fines for fiscal irresponsibility in the markets. PEN addiction is a serious problem, soon likely to be put on a par with heroin (bit moorish I hear) and crack. Much like the heroin or crack addict, it could ruin your life but you will have a good time doing it!
The typical PEN addict gets up at the crack of dawn after 4 hours sleep and checks the forums for what is going on. I am in the early stages of full blown trainspottingdom, and am currently experiencing the hand twitches if I don’t check my phone every 5 minutes like I am expecting the call from Cheryl Tweedy to nip round to knock her back doors in (I don’t recognise her sham marriage).  Unfortunately this is equally as likely as someone snatching my hand off with my buy it now offer of 30 million for my 73 rated RWF, but I check it all the same. (For Baz this is the same as the call from his mate Bernard to go around and have a fiddle with his livestock). Hopefully this doesn’t end with me going through a shit covered toilet, but I can’t guarantee it.
The later stages of PEN addiction include putting players you really aren’t bothered about selling up for transfers just because you can’t get through a day without getting involved in the market (Slicklu), or then commenting and ridiculing bids or player offers (pretty much everyone). Also playing friendly after friendly into the early hours trialling potential players is a common occurrence.
There seems to be a successful withdrawal programme from the addiction to online chat, although this recently seems to be failing (thankfully). Still plenty of addicts who aren’t on chat complain about how poor the chat is or how they can’t get a game in the forums, I recommend if you are addicted then go all in and get on the chat as well. No one likes a part time smack head.

Although PEN addiction could ruin your job, relationship, sleep patterns and basically life, it’s an amazing site run by dedicated people doing it for the good of the community. I for one hope the seven step withdrawal program is far away, and recommend all PEN addicts become VIP’s and contribute to the site.  After all, all addictions have to come with a financial cost, don’t they? And at least this way you are helping to keep the site running in which a handful of enthusiasts manage what FIFA cannot- to run an enjoyable, community led league with a successful transfer system and longevity.

Long live the addiction
by Macadonna
Read 1464 times Last modified on Wednesday, 10 December 2014 08:11