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Saturday, 07 November 2015 21:50

An Open Letter

Written by
Dear Mr Bhatti,
 
I feel I must write to you given the accumulation of events over the last few years and also the recent debacle surrounding your one and only task in life.
 
First of all I would like to congratulate you on two successive great football games. The gameplay is consistently better than Fifa, and for that you have everyone’s thanks. However, certain aspects of the game seem to have been implemented by an autistic drunken orang-utan who has had some sort of head injury.
How is it physically possible to do a transfer update, take 6 weeks to do it, and then make a complete arse of it to the point where you missed out about 50% of the transfers done in the entire world. It’s staggering how you manage to get ball physics and incredibly complicated coding for AI and graphics correct and then, in attempting to essentially write list of names correctly, you just presumably stuck your finger up your @£$% and giggled to yourself rather than actually attempting to do this correctly.
 
The PES transfer implementation team
 
Not only this, but when questioned about it you do your usual routine of blocking people on twitter, or pumping out the ‘god knows what’s going on, nothing to do with me, tweet Konami about it’ routine. Ten minutes before the update you were pitching a tent over the positive comments appearing on your twitter feed, and then when people remembered you have all the organisational skills of a group of lobotomised dole dossers, you ran away and claimed it was once again a private twitter account. That you only ever post about PES on. Right.
 
Just come on, fix it. It does not take weeks and weeks to put things into lists. My ex Mrs, who sometimes struggled to dress herself, managed to not only make a list every week but also to get almost all of those things when she went shopping. Yes she came back with the occasional cat instead of a frozen chicken, but she was still better at that than you are at putting names in the right place on a game which can be updated any time you like via ‘the internet’.
 
Also, speaking of dressing yourself, please stop dressing like someone from a remote tribe who came out of the jungle, hit society and saw one 1980’s film and thought you had to wear a T-shirt and baseball cap for the rest of your life. Although you did take it off once and try to dress smarter and you looked like you worked in a prison. 
 
Bhatti in his day job uniform at HMP Parkhurst
 
Glad to see you looked at myclub last year and decided that not enough people had all the top players in their teams straight away so you fixed it this year. That obviously made the game mode awesome with excellent longevity, kudos. 
 
Oh by the way, F£$K YOU for PES 14.
Congrats on PES 16, I like it. Despite your best efforts to force me otherwise. 
 
Love,
Macadonna
Read 706 times Last modified on Saturday, 07 November 2015 22:26