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Wednesday, 18 November 2015 23:17

Wage Committee Appointed

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Davo has announced the appointment of a wage committee to oversee a new bespoke wage system.
 
In addition to wages now varying by rating and position, the experienced wage committee will adjust player’s wages on an individual basis where necessary. This controversial new approach is intended to put more fairness into the wage system, given Konami’s sometimes haphazard approach to the rating system and statistics.
 
We have interviewed various members of the wage committee to gain some insight into the new methodology.
 
Oz, the driving force behind the implementation of such a system, is keen to even out the sometime disparity between player cost and wages. He told us “Some players wages seem disproportionate to their desirability or in game ability. This is just a way of addressing that imbalance and I am 100% behind these new changes”.
 
AlexanderdaGr8 had a slightly different approach. He said / slurred:
 
“The aim of the wage committee is to keep the league as close to real life football as possible. This means corruption, granny shagging, ‘baking soda’, full sleeve tattoo’s and fast cars. If you like ‘baking soda’, your wages are going up. If you like shagging grannies, your wages are going up. If you like snorting ‘baking soda’ off a tattooed grannies navel while driving a fast car you bribed a fellow league member for, guess what, your wages are going the f£$k up’. 
 
Unfortunately, Alex may have been on the baking soda at the time of the interview.
 

Alex shortly before being interviewed

Above all, the wage committee was keen to communicate that they wouldn’t be going all out to ruin the league and that managers shouldn’t panic. Matt RB was very vocal on ensuring that any changes implemented should be fair and not affect the market adversely, and that no one manager should be targeted (apart from Mark obviously).
 
At the end of the interview we had with the committee, Greg mumbled something about low rated scripter bums through a mouthful of Westons but it was incomprehensible and could have meant anything.
 
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