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Friday, 20 November 2015 23:00

FC Seoul The New Era

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It was the summer of change at FC Seoul and backed by heavy financial investment it didn’t take new boss LarryDavid long to start making tsunami sized waves in the transfer market.
 
Norwich City a once finely ran club was brought to its knees and forced into administration trying to pay Raheem Sterling’s wage. ‘One greedy b****d’ as he as now know in East Anglia and Scouseland was put up for auction to the highest bidder announcing that “I’ll play for free innit bruv”. The auction ended with the wonderkid putting pen to paper on a 5 year deal with FC Seoul.
At his unveiling to the fans at a packed out Seoul World Cup Stadium it was revealed that young Raheem has been diagnosed with a rare disorder called ‘NoMoreNailsItis’ this has caused his touch to develop to such a high level that a football is quite literally stuck to his foot at all times no matter what he does to try and remove it. So instead of doing kick ups with some tricks he was forced to run around the pitch really fast showcasing he could turn on a 1 won coin. The Seoul fans had never seen anything like it. LarryDavid said “We will work with Raheem to improve his distribution but when he gets the ball it is becoming increasingly more difficult to get it back off him.”
 
LarryDavid told local journo’s the club was far from finished in the transfer market and it wasn’t long before the South Korean Club welcomed another new hero.
 
Danny ‘Dat Guy Welbz’ Welbeck put pen to paper on a 4 year contract from Lille making him the highest paid footballer in the clubs history. FC Seoul fans will be hoping Welbz can come good on the clubs investment; when asked to comment on Welbeck’s finishing LarryDavid replied “It’s pretty… pretty… pretty… pretty good” and from the way pre-season has gone he wasn’t wrong with Welbeck netting an incredible 14 goals in 5 games to show that he is defiantly ready to lead the line. 
 
Next to join the FC Seoul revolution was ‘The Beast’ Sandro penning a 4 year deal from Flamengo. It is said that if you say “Sandro gonna get ya” five times in the mirror he will appear and kung fu kick you in the shins till you beg for mercy. This had South Korean children scared for some time until this myth was dispelled as a group of 16 year olds tried it and Sandro appeared from a cloud of smoke with a guitar alongside Matthew Kelly with a tambourine and played Brazilian songs for 5 hours straight. The teens have said they “Would have rather be kicked repeatedly in the shins then have to listen to that s***e again!”
 
Seoul rounded off their business by capturing their now club captain ‘Bald Boss’ Puygrenier, Saloman Kalou, Idrissa ‘Ha! Gueyyyyyyyyyyye!’ Gueye, Marvin Martin and wily old striker Fernando ‘Torito’ Cavengahi.
 
LarryDavid has warned rival managers to “curb your enthusiasm” as he prepares to lead FC Seoul into a season that promises fireworks and excitement as Seoul embark on a new chapter in their history. Will this be the year FC Seoul will finally taste some glory?
Read 655 times Last modified on Friday, 20 November 2015 23:35