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Thursday, 25 May 2017 20:43

Age of Gaming

Written by Kitchengun206

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you handed your grandad the controller , that's right before he's even had a chance to laugh at you for playing a kids game he would unintentionally smash the controller to pieces with those massive shovel hands that crush your puny fingers with his hulk like hand shake.

"Another visit, another 3 months of surgery"
Or have you ever wondered if you'd still be gaming when your old, very old, grey pubes and Viagra old? Well today we find this question is already known to our very own smooth talking wise cracking train diving grandad Gino! That's right not only does he wreck you on the pitch he . . . no wait. That's not right. Hes a grandad, he drives trains and he plays pes and call of duty, I could end this conversation now and it be fkn epic. But we decide to ask some questions to Grandaddy G. 

Finding out that Gino was Born 1961 which considering this is 2017 makes him about 105 , we ask:

Does being older have any prohibitations when gaming?

"I don't think so, for me playing Pes is relaxing and fun. I think for the younger guys is more that winning is importent for me the game to play."

Its the answer I expected given his laid back attitude towards pen and ask 

Favourite part of pen? (Chat, league games , forum etc)

"Yeah the Chat is absolutly a favorite but playing league games or friendly's are my number 1."

Ah, no stranger to the chat rooms, he had came into a full chat and asked "Alan, Still looking for a target man . . . I have a big one for you" a hilarious and borderline sexual harassment statement, to make the chat breakdown in laughter, later he also had the last laugh by declaring "Ok guys , got to go now, granpa needs a nap"

Knowing he was obviously having fun on pen I asked 

What made you stay after your first season?

"The whole picture playing a full season and the fun I have with most of the members from Pen"

What are your tactics and style of play for the upcoming season?

" Well in the first couple of games in Pen I got a lot of comment about my style it was to much .........so I decided to make a few changes to my  squad and play another style, slower build up through the middle. I Always try to play football like real life. I know that some members comment on other members when it comes to their style of play, but I always respect all styles of play, because not everyone plays the same in real life either,and that's good because it gives the league variety, if everyone played the same way it would be boring"

TLDR:  Spammy old pookeynoodle changes style. 

Nearing the end of the conversation with G we need to know, Do you think you'll ever stop playing games?

"Well If my hands still do what my brain tells them to do, I will keep playing"

So while age is just a number to most older people, at least this old man can back this up , so until dementia sets in we have not seen the last of JeDaGi. Gino. 

On the flip side of the age coin we talk to babycakes Jookio, the toddler of the group. 

While most penners yawn at the site of 10'oclock on a community night , young Jook puts most of these old pookeys to shame by often being the last man standing, often declaring , its 3am here, time to log off I have work in 26mins. At Jooks age he can power through on nothing but red bull and porn for 3 weeks straight, while still looking sharp 

"Sleeping is for pussies"

Being half the age of papa g, I dive in and ask:

Does being younger give you an advantage over older gamers?

"Absolutely not. Guys like Sami and Gino are my idols on here really haha, when I grow up I want to be like them"

That's some fkd up s**t.

At 25 he is one of the younger lads on pen, but by his own admittance has the brain of a 15 year old (which puts him in the elite category of pen maturity) but the body of a 40 year old. This gets me curious about a young mans diet these days, o i next ask him what he eats.

"Anything a human being shouldn't be digesting. I eat so much s**t that I disgust myself daily. Community night take out is always a treat"

When jookio isn't chomping  live fish and playing pes he spends his time making cash as a laundry worker, "I've tried multiple times to explain in the party chat what it is I do, with no results, so let's just leave it at that" and being the gentleman he is, frequently offers to wash your underwear as long as you send it next day delivery, although I never did get my Calvin clones back. 

Moving away from the skidmarks of laundry talk we get back to games, 

Gaming since he was 6 , "My friend next door had a Super Nintendo, and we used to bash Super Mario all day long,"
we ask if he would ever stop gaming:

"Only way of me stopping is blindness."

Safe to say he won't be giving up anytime soon, We then went on to ask him what he enjoys about pen

" I think the whole setup is borderline perfect, the game is good, people are nice(ish). It's a shame that I didn't found out about PEN earlier!"

His best and worst moments being

"Giving Rambo a total rape in the Manual League. Rambo is utter s**t on manual but still. I think I had 58 interceptions. No doubt even better moments are yet to come"

Worst pen moment:

"Saying goodbye to Joel Pohjanpalo when the reset came. Open the BOD already."

Wiping a tear away with a half dead fish we move on  from his  horrific moment and we find out his style of play

"I like to dribble my way around 3 defenders and then lose the ball. That's 80% of what I do. Not really, I like playing possession football, and I'm way more upset of losing possession than losing the game."

A fair player and a joy to play friendlies with, he also says he doesn't aim to be the best, which is very humbling considering his young age in this competitive gaming world we now live in. 

He has other games he likes when pes needs a break from his erratic CB skill moves.

"I got a few NBAs, Call of Dutys, GTA and Battlefield(which I've played for half an hour). Only games I really play are PES and Candy Crush Soda Saga"

Ah candy crush, easy to learn,  hard to believe any plays this bull s**t and with talk of Candy Crush it was a good time to end this interview before we learn anymore guilty pleasures from Jookio. 

After hearing from both sprectums of the age group we find a middle ground by speaking with samcro.  

"Old , young doesn't matter to me I'll f**k anything . . . giggity"

I think daz misunderstood what this article was about so best just leaving it on this note

Age is just a number ,  the teen living in his basement and granpa unable to record last of the summer wine  because he doesn't know the difference between a remote and a banana stereotypes are long gone.

There is no limit, if you enjoy gaming  then why stop? That is the ultimate question

Gino.

Read 170 times Last modified on Friday, 26 May 2017 17:17