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Monday, 24 July 2017 07:45

PEN Fake News Vol. 2

Written by Wheresmark

 

 

 

Welcome to The Fake News Volume.2 brought to you by the FNN reported by Truseph Fakeman, your #1 certified always 100% accurate to be incorrect on untrue subjects that are but are not real. 

 

Today we speak about the super quick fire sale of James Ward-Prowse, about Wage Day 3 being a definite and other mindless drivel.

 

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The Transfer Deal That Was Never a Saga

 

Early on the morning of the 18th of June there was a shock announcement, an announcement that surprised each and every one of us, James Ward-Prowse had left Goggz and being transferred to Amos for £57Mill without even a hint this might happen.

 This deal was so out of the blue that some managers were so taken aback they had to be treated for severe shock and unfortunately seem to be unable to be continue in their position for the time being. We hope you have a swift recovery and are back to where you belong thesecondcity and Kitchengun. 

 

 On the face of this deal though, it shouldn't be too much of a surprise. The pragmatic and reserved Santos manager Goggz is renowned for his quick fire sales and easy transfer dealings, whilst John Wayne look-a-like Amos is known across the leagues for being THE big spender here on PEN.  But the fact JWP had never even been teased out for sale by Goggz made the sale of this superstar big news here on FNN, time will tell how he performs for the new Espanyol manager. 

 

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Wage Day 2 Cancelled! Wage Day 3 is a Definite

 

The biggest news story of the week is that wages were not but definitely are cancelled for wage day 2 which means there will be wage day 3 which is still wage day 2 but is towards the end of the season and has absolutely not but has been leaked by league Chairman Davotek.

 The rebranded wage day 3 will actually be wage day 2 but re-branded after PEN successfully completed the wage challenge with days to spare.  The challenge; to complete 85% of the games currently released was emphatically smashed with days to spare, with notable mentions to Chucka, Lam and Earnold - we couldn't have done it without you boys. On the same note, we have to point out that the Xbox Prem and PS4 prem, seriously need to buck your ideas up, outrageous percentages almost held the community up and your FSL usage has been dire, buck up Bart. 

 This surprise future wage day will hopefully keep the slag hoarders on their toes and create a bustling last minute transfer market where scrupulous low wage managers can raid and pillage them of all their ill gotten gains, lube up lads. 

 

 

 

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Gossip Column 

 

  • Fubar never played with Diego Contento, Icelandic legend Eidur Gudjonsen has however. 
  • PS4 fan favourite Rambo has got an absolute bargain by crossing the Irish border to buy a car befitting of a manager here on PEN.
  • Funso Ojo has been confirmed as a 100% definitely not AWOL player
  • Xbox beast Adrian has decided that he cares not how people play against them and will keep overselling his players in the market. 
  • The new Golf Club game is a boring awful piece of pookeynoodle. 
  • Riq aka Dobby is getting better at PES day by day and will soon be a top Premiership challenger.
  • Derby County manager Laid Back Yeti is so impassioned with his brand that he's having their crest tattooed  onto his inner thigh. 
  • Long haired lothario Benstatman has taken recent news of a 80 x profit on Spanish striker Alvaro Negredo really well. 
  • Dobby sells fake Heineken T-shirts in a Morrocan T-shirt shops which have the slogan 'High-again' in the famous type font. 
  • Prem newbie NikoNikolson always tells the truth about his players.
  • BigBoss is an actual person who has veins, bones and blood, not circuitry, chips and bytes. 
  • Everyone loves Baz (if you don't, please do not PM Slicklu about this) 

 

That's all the accurate news we have today, please tune in next time to read some more news which has been certified by the FNN to be 100% not BS. 

 

This has been the Fake News Network and I've been Truseph Fakeman. 

 

 

Read 189 times Last modified on Wednesday, 26 July 2017 20:04